My Road To Being A Stay At Home Mom...
Almost 9 months ago I started this journey that I never in my early adulthood saw as an option for me, or even a desire really. I chose to join the world of Stay At Home Moms. I can't say it wasn't an easy decision for me, as it was something I had longed for ever since my oldest son, Brennan, was born almost 3 years ago. From the moment I held him in my arms I knew that I could never continue working full time forever. There is something that happens to you when you become a mom for the first time. It's an indescribable feeling that we all speak of but that no one can put into words. To me, even now, I find myself feeling truly overwhelmed with emotion when I sit and think about the amazing gift that my children have given me....motherhood.
Anyways, as the time grew nearer for me to go back to work after Brennan was born, my heart ached more and more. I really didn't know how I would survive leaving my baby for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I begged my husband daily for the opportunity to stay home full time but it just didn't make sense at the time and financially we just couldn't make it work. The day I dropped my baby off at daycare for the first time was the hardest day of my life. I truly felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest and I had no way to make the pain stop. I had no choice but to go back to work and hope that things would get easier. Fortunately for me, things did get easier but my desire to stay home with my son never left me. I desperately seeked an outlet or a way to make my dream of being with my baby every moment a reality. Little did I know it would take me having a second son, Bryson, to achieve that goal. After crunching numbers and considering the cost of daycare in our area, we knew that I had no other choice but to stay at home with our two children. I was elated! I couldn't believe I would finally be able to spend 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week with my boys. It was a dream come true!
9 months later and after many, many long days and long nights, I can't help but to wonder what I was thinking this experience would be like. Did I think it would be easy? Did I think I would love every minute of it and be ecstatic every morning for the opportunity to listen to my oldest son whine for junk food or my youngest cry because he feels that it is necessary that he be held all the time? I think I was really naive about it and really didn't know what to expect. Now after lots of long hard days, I can honestly say that this is by far the hardest job I have ever done in my life. It is emotionally, mentally and physically draining. When my almost 3 year old starts throwing a fit because he doesn't get what he wants or when my 9 month old is crying all day because he doesn't feel good, I start to feel a little more than overwhelmed. It's tough but through lots of patience and prayer I get through it.
With all that being said, I have absolutely no regret in my choice to stay at home and raise my boys full time. As hard as it is, it is even more rewarding. There are moments in my day when I truly am overwhelmed with emotion because I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home with them and watch them grow each and every day. When my oldest is snuggled up beside me on the couch while I read him a story or when my youngest is curled up in my arms sleeping, it reaffirms why I chose this for myself. There is no monetary reward any greater than the rewards I get from my life as a stay at home mom. I wouldn't trade it in for anything else in this world.
There are moments in every day when I make a point to really think about the amazing little gifts my children are to me. Every day is different, whether the boys are playing in the corner or splashing in the bathtub, I take a moment to really embrace this experience and to not let the hardships overshadow the true blessings that they are to me.
I hope that through this blog I can share a glimpse of what my days are like as a stay at home mom. Be it the good, the bad and the ugly, I'm here to share it all in hopes to give anyone willing to read an insight on what it is really like to be a stay at home mom.
Anyways, as the time grew nearer for me to go back to work after Brennan was born, my heart ached more and more. I really didn't know how I would survive leaving my baby for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I begged my husband daily for the opportunity to stay home full time but it just didn't make sense at the time and financially we just couldn't make it work. The day I dropped my baby off at daycare for the first time was the hardest day of my life. I truly felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest and I had no way to make the pain stop. I had no choice but to go back to work and hope that things would get easier. Fortunately for me, things did get easier but my desire to stay home with my son never left me. I desperately seeked an outlet or a way to make my dream of being with my baby every moment a reality. Little did I know it would take me having a second son, Bryson, to achieve that goal. After crunching numbers and considering the cost of daycare in our area, we knew that I had no other choice but to stay at home with our two children. I was elated! I couldn't believe I would finally be able to spend 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week with my boys. It was a dream come true!
9 months later and after many, many long days and long nights, I can't help but to wonder what I was thinking this experience would be like. Did I think it would be easy? Did I think I would love every minute of it and be ecstatic every morning for the opportunity to listen to my oldest son whine for junk food or my youngest cry because he feels that it is necessary that he be held all the time? I think I was really naive about it and really didn't know what to expect. Now after lots of long hard days, I can honestly say that this is by far the hardest job I have ever done in my life. It is emotionally, mentally and physically draining. When my almost 3 year old starts throwing a fit because he doesn't get what he wants or when my 9 month old is crying all day because he doesn't feel good, I start to feel a little more than overwhelmed. It's tough but through lots of patience and prayer I get through it.
With all that being said, I have absolutely no regret in my choice to stay at home and raise my boys full time. As hard as it is, it is even more rewarding. There are moments in my day when I truly am overwhelmed with emotion because I feel so blessed to be able to stay at home with them and watch them grow each and every day. When my oldest is snuggled up beside me on the couch while I read him a story or when my youngest is curled up in my arms sleeping, it reaffirms why I chose this for myself. There is no monetary reward any greater than the rewards I get from my life as a stay at home mom. I wouldn't trade it in for anything else in this world.
There are moments in every day when I make a point to really think about the amazing little gifts my children are to me. Every day is different, whether the boys are playing in the corner or splashing in the bathtub, I take a moment to really embrace this experience and to not let the hardships overshadow the true blessings that they are to me.
I hope that through this blog I can share a glimpse of what my days are like as a stay at home mom. Be it the good, the bad and the ugly, I'm here to share it all in hopes to give anyone willing to read an insight on what it is really like to be a stay at home mom.
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